Sexual Performance Anxiety and Premature Ejaculation (PE)

Martha Kempner - Writer And Sexual Health Expert

5 min read - July 12, 2023

Sex is a high-stakes game. As a man, you may feel that it all depends on you. You must have a strong erection and control ejaculation to give your partner the best experience. You want to prove your worth as a skillful lover. All that pressure can cause stress and worry. And unfortunately, anxiety and premature ejaculation often go together.


Sexual Performance: Anxiety and Premature Ejaculation (PE)

Sex is a high-stakes game. As a man, you may feel that it all depends on you. You must have a strong erection and control ejaculation to give your partner the best experience. You want to prove your worth as a skillful lover. All that pressure can cause stress and worry. And unfortunately, anxiety and premature ejaculation often go together.

What Is Premature Ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is the expulsion of semen (ejaculation) earlier than the man and/or his partner wish.


This definition is a bit tricky because all couples are different. In more concrete terms, if you ejaculate within one or two minutes from the beginning of intercourse, and this happens regularly, you may have PE.

Are Premature Ejaculation and Anxiety Linked?


Researchers who analyzed men with premature ejaculation found it connected to anxiety. Acquired PE (meaning the problem wasn’t always there) seemed to be triggered by stress.


But the experts are still uncertain why the mental state can impact climax control. And which one comes first? Does being anxious contribute to the loss of control over ejaculation? Or are bedroom difficulties causing feelings of anxiety?


To complicate things, some studies suggest the link between PE and anxiety doesn’t exist.


A large, long-term sample suggests that PE may not be connected to generalized anxiety. Authors of the study suspect that PE may be linked to situational stress, which means a man is not generally anxious. 


Still, he will get anxious in a specific context (for example, pressure to perform as a lover). More research is needed to

explore that theory.

Sexual Performance Anxiety and Premature Ejaculation

Yes, it's possible that general anxiety doesn't cause PE. The most likely psychological cause of premature ejaculation is a different type of anxiety called Sexual Performance Anxiety. This issue affects 9-25% of men.

The problem was described in detail by famous sexuality researchers Masters and Johnson. People affected by it (women can have it, too) are afraid they will not live up to their idea of being a great lover. Here’s what men usually worry about:

  • That a sexual difficulty, like PE or erectile dysfunction,¬†will happen again.
  • That their penis is too small.
  • That they¬†won‚Äôt¬†be able to satisfy their partner.
  • That they¬†don‚Äôt¬†look good enough.
  • That they will lose erection when putting on a condom.


How to Manage Sexual Performance Anxiety

Sexual Performance Anxiety is a mental and emotional challenge. To reduce it, you must understand your reactions and change how you view erotic success. Here are some tips to help you get started:

Identify Your Triggers

Watch your sexual activities for a few weeks and look for patterns:

  • Do you come too soon only with a partner or during masturbation as well?
  • Does seeing your lover‚Äôs naked body get you too excited too fast?
  • Is¬†there a¬†sexual activity¬†that‚Äôs¬†speeding up your arousal (for example, hand job, oral sex)?
  • And what about your thoughts? Do you worry about your penis size¬†or other things?

Understanding¬†what‚Äôs¬†putting you in that¬†‚ÄúI can‚Äôt hold it any longer‚Ä̬†state during sex,¬†will allow you to tweak your behavior and slow down.


Upgrade Your Erotic Education

Time to go back to school and learn everything you’ve always wanted to know about sex! If you’re worried about penis size, check where you stand compared to most men. And even if your male member is on the smaller side, explore erotic techniques to please your lover using hands, tongue, and sex toys.


Go beyond the technicalities and try out a few mindfulness and relaxation exercises. They will help you stay in the moment and slow down when things get too hot, too quickly.


Learn How to Fail


A big part of performance anxiety is the attitude of ‚ÄúI cannot fail.‚ÄĚ And the big part of overcoming it is accepting that failure is typical. Worst case scenario?¬†You‚Äôll¬†have a rest and start¬†over or¬†continue pleasuring your partner in other ways that¬†don‚Äôt¬†involve penetration.


Next time when you come earlier than you wanted, keep your chin up, smile, and think of creative ways to continue the sexy play without using your penis. Caress your partner to orgasm, hug, kiss, and cuddle. Chances are, when you have rested, you’ll be able to have intercourse again and last longer.


Dare To Be Honest


This one is hard for many guys. Most men are raised to be tough and not talk about weakness and emotions. But these rules should not apply in the bedroom. This is the place where you must gather the courage and talk to your partner about sexual anxiety.


Just saying it out loud can take a lot of pressure off. Don’t try to find sophisticated words. Admit it’s difficult, and you’ve never done it before.


 Your partner will appreciate the honesty. And if you realize it’s too hard to have that kind of openness, find a couples’ counselor to help you learn how to talk about personal problems.


Get Real About Porn

Most men watch pornography from time to time. Doing alone or spice things up with a partner can be fun. But adult films can make you feel self-conscious and anxious.

Don’t compare yourself to porn performers! These actors are selected for their muscular bodies and above-average-sized penises.


 And those films are not reality. Even erotic stars have premature ejaculation occasionally, but you won’t see that in the movies. Remember- they're only acting, like any other movie. It's not real.

Talk To a Sexologist

Talking to a sexologist or sex coach can help you deal with premature ejaculation faster. You’ll change negative thought patterns, learn new tricks to give your lover pleasure,

and practice techniques to control ejaculation.


Prolong Intercourse with a Wearable device

Solving the problem of premature ejaculation and anxiety usually takes time. The innovative in2 device can prolong intercourse on demand by boosting natural pelvic muscle contractions.


Combining the in2 device with psychological tricks, such as deep breathing and relaxation, can seriously improve your ability to control ejaculation.


The device is easy to use and doesn’t numb sensations. It’s clinically proven and drug-free. Try it today.